Thursday, August 23, 2007

There's nothing like validation


Our agency has set up Yahoo groups to help send out very important information and to work as a support system. Recently, a woman named Bonnie posted a message about how discouraged she has become with the wait and expressed that her and her husband have discussed stopping their adoption. Many people responded to her post. One such person was a woman named Dani who just so happens to be logged in the same month as me!! Read some of what she said....


Dear Bonnie,
You will go through soooo many stages/emotions during this what seems like endless impossible wait. It is normal. There have been "high months" for us-you know where you both walk around the nursery oohing and ahhing at every cute thing you've purchased. And talk endlessly about the stuff youre gonna take to China, all the things youre going to do with baby, etc then you jump on the internet and watch 3 hours of China adoption videos and cry your little excited hearts out. Then there are the "angry months". You walk by the nursery and you don't even open the door. You avoid people so you don't have to hear "how's the adoption going". You jump on Rumor Queen and revel in the fact that "see, everyone's miserable-stupid China!!". You say things like "Save for China????Forget that-I want new woodfloors!!
!" Then there are the "just plain low" months- your husband comes home to find you on the nursery floor surrounded by a cloud of tissues. You see babies and cry. You both
lose hope-"It's not gonna happpen for us...Lets go get that Doberman puppy...". And then ta da!!!!!! New Hope arises!!!!!!!!!!!! Did they just refer 3 days worth of LID's this month instead of 2????!!!!!!! You grab your calculator and work out 1,000 mathmatical possibilities each one a little better because "it might happen". Suddenly there is forward momentum again! YOu both open the door to the nursery and WOW!!!! HOW CUTE!!! You notice you don't have a changing table and so you jump in the car and drive to Target!!! You tell everyone in the store(even though they weren't paying attention to you) 'We are adopting from China." You spend 10 minutes answering their questions(gladly).... Just remember-don't panic at the angry and low times....just ride 'em out..... Lots of luck! Dani


Other than the fact that our nursery isn't done and I would never get a "Doberman" puppy, do you not get the feeling that maybe she has a webcam in my house?!!

It helps so much so know that we are not alone on this emotional rollercoaster!! Just thought I would share this with you guys!

8 comments:

Jiinkin Design Team said...

WOW! I hadn't read anything from our Yahoo group yet! That's amazing... I think the same webcam is in my house!!! Seriously!!! :)

Cecilia Anderson said...

Mary, every time I post on my blog about the strain of waiting and the emotional rollercoaster in our life, I then check your blog and am ashamed of my worries when your process is exponentially longer!! You are so strong to be able to live through all these long months of waiting, and I know you'll make it to the end with so much enthusiam and love left for that lucky little girl. You've got great PMA!

Anonymous said...

Yeah about that nursery...at least a pretty pink room, might give you a place to curl up on the floor in and get covered in tissues....

Anonymous said...

Yeah, Mary wouldn't like of doing anything crazy like getting a baby Doberman, but goats...rabbits...hamsters...an iguana...that's another story!

Anonymous said...

that's "think of doing" not "like of doing"

Mary Schneider said...

For the record...we have never owned an iguana (yet)!

A Yi Norah said...

I had a feeling you wont the only "crazy, emotional basket case" out there waiting for your daughter. L am glad you have your yahoo group. I can hug you and tell I love you but I can't tell you "I know how you feel". You a so strong. You have always held our family together through some really hard times. This is your hard time (well one of them). We are here for you. You'll time will come. Hang on for this long Roller coaster ride.

One more thing....I agree a pink room with Chocolate ribbon and a super cute girly rug would make for a nicer room to cry in. Lets kick Doug out and start paining. Better yet have Doug start painting.

Margaret said...

Hey, what's wrong with an iguana as a pet?...beats an alligator. Actually iguanas are easier to care for than hamsters (warm blooded critters just eat too much).

I guess your only consolation in all this Mary is that there are hundreds of other people going through exactly what you're going through, and hundreds more who've already brought their little baby home!