What will this summer bring?

I haven't been much for blogging lately, so I thought I should post a small update on our life. To be honest, not a lot has changed with us. The boys just got out of school for the summer and they couldn't be happier about it. They both did great this year...A's and B's on everything!

The weather here in Phoenix has actually been really nice. We've had a few hot days, but the evenings are still cool. We've been eating dinner out on the patio as often as we can.....soon it will be indoor dining only!! Jacob is outside right now with my Dad flying a kite (that's like heaven to him) and Benjamin is chasing them up and down the street on his new bike. So, needless to say their summer is off to a pretty good start. We are hoping to make it over to San Diego in July, but other than that we have no major plans! We'll just have to wait and see!

It's been a bit of an emotional week for me. At first I thought it was just PMS. Then last night Benjamin said something that pushed me right over the edge. I should have seen it coming, but....

It started with us selling my Expedition (you know you're getting close to loosing it when you want to cry over a car). The thing is, I've been picturing her, in her cute little car seat, in that car for two years. I know it sounds crazy, but that's the car I owned when we started the adoption and I just assumed it would be the one I would be driving when she came home. It's not, and that's OK, but something about the fact that she never even drove in it with us makes me so sad.

Then the last day of school came and I realized that we are facing yet another summer without our sugarplum. The worst of it is, I'm not convinced that it's going to be our last summer without her....next summer could very well be more of the same.

Then last night, Doug and I were enjoying some relaxing (and slightly romantic) time in the jacuzzi together when Jacob and Benjamin decided to hop on in and join us. So, there the four of us were..talking and laughing and hanging out when Benjamin looks over at me and says, "Mom I can totally picture you holding our baby sister right now." I instantly felt a pain in my heart and asked him, "Really...what does she look like?" He said, "She's cute and she's just a little bit bigger than Vienna." Then he laughed and reached for Jacob and the two of them started wrestling around in the water. I, on the other hand, did anything but laugh. In fact, I had to get out as quickly as possible so the boys wouldn't see me crying. It's like he read my mind. I picture her with us all time, but to hear him say it just broke my heart. It was "the straw that broke the camels back". I've been two blinks away from tears since then. Maybe it is just PMS...let's hope so.

I posted a picture of my niece, Vienna, because if that doesn't put a smile on your face I don't know what will!!

Referrals should be arriving any day now. I'll post the news as soon as I hear.